What have I done??

I’ve been back and forth about something for quite a while now. Today I took action and did something that scares me a lot. I resigned. I have a 100% job with jobsecurity.

Though I should probably say had at this point. I will stay at the job for three more months because that’s what my contract says. After that, I don’t have a job – that is terrifying!

What have I done to myself? A steady job gives financial security. I haven’t got another job yet, so from august I’m unemployed – and I did that to myself. Am I crazy?

It might seem like it, but even though it’s scary as hell I don’t think so. This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, and while I would have like to have another job before I quit, I didn’t/couldn’t wait any longer. A lot of my depression is tied to my current job, and even though I’ve gotten better I could feel myself slipping into darkness again. That dark place was scarier than unemployment and financial unstability – meaning it was scary as fuck! So I made the decision the best I could. I thought about the pros and cons of everyhing I could think of and then I made my decision.

After I made the decision I feel better. And I’ve also read to books and a comic – something I haven’t done in a while because I’ve been in a dark place. Things are looking brighter, so now I just need a new job so that I will continue to get a paycheck every month.

I’m not sorry if you think this got a little dark for a moment (because it’s true), but to me this is light; this is hope; this is life.

I hope you’re having a good day and weekend!

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